be astonished

Shaggy

2010-10-11T02:55:00.000-07:00

5.55pm

im shagged,
came home a couple of hours ago from dart's crib,
i just had a few hours of sleep dere,
urgh! i just hate feeling of drowsyness..

when dere this morning like 7+am..
taxi driver like stupid,, bring so slow..

whatever it is, i dun wana noe.
i came in to bby's house,
karim was dere welcoming me..
awwww.
i bet he miss me so much!!!
i do too,,!!
bby carry him in his room, and he lean on me smell me,showing so much love!!
omg!! im so fucking touched!!
its been so long ive seen karim like that ever since dear late daddy was still here, amen. may he rest in peace.
he cuddle, lie on me shirt and bag,he's so adorable than ever,
ive nvr seen hym so happy to see me,
i guess i have to say sorry huh, karim.
he was merajok w me the last few days i met hym.

talk w bby,
normal things w bby,
sleep w bby,,
aww.. i miss it and im loving every single sec im spending time w bby,
i woke up feeling so dizzy,
bby so caring despite stuff im so touched,
ilyvm bby,ure the best i have,,

:)

2010-10-10T11:25:00.000-07:00

i start a day today
this very moment,
10 sec 10 mins 10hours 10th day 10th month 10th of twothousand year.
with my a group of fwens.

im suppose to meet baby but he said he's going out,
i told hym few days earlier infact a week earlier,
he just wouldnt listen as usual.

even if its not much of a happening thing,
but these little things we share are just the things that make our friendship last,
those nonsense jokes,laughter and gossips,
are just too much too handle,
how i wish i could do all that with my dearest instead,
its just so meaningful and sweet.

10.10.10

im really looking forward to the day that we are really happy without any troubles.

xoxo,,
loves
fyfiie

goddness~

2010-10-03T23:03:00.000-07:00

Mann,,
im so stressed up ,
i gotta pray soon after 44days man, haiya..
life sucks for me now ,,
baby, i hope ure happy leaving,
you know i would be crying for a week,
what does it matter anymore right, haha,,
yea well,i hate fighting with you anymore,
i know you just wanna get it and done with so am i,
i just couldnt stand myself being like vegy and cry non-stop,
pfft, yea im pathetic,

i just hope ure happy, takaiires aites,

goshh,, i gonaa go get werk okeyh!
FY! go die if you being lazy hahah!!
Now single life is giving me much trouble, haish
but i neither wanna get in r/s either,
so fuck the world,lets go be workaholic, prayerholic LOL! and die of being fatigue,,
who new world for me,but not for my freaking sickness,,

urghh!! i wonder if i die for having heart attack, haishh,,
soo in pain man,, i dun wish to go hospital again
argghh,, i miss karim,
i have to have a cat at home now, so i dun usually have heart pain always,,
haiya,, i miss my nephew, i cant get to see hym when he's sick also,
urh,, i think i should stop acting like fuck and thing positive,
now my first priority is to make sure about my health,so its stable and prayers!
than my work and bill.
than my friends,

what is dere to do more,
well i think i should get some stuff for me to enjoy
some gadgets i must say ,,
urh,,
takaiires now,

love,
fyfiie

BUMMER!!

2010-09-21T04:15:00.001-07:00

baby,, i love you,,, i forgive you n try to forget , selamat hari raya,
im sorry for everything,i hope you forgive me too,
i m a fucker okayh, club and all, but like as if i enjoy it much,
i just wanna get rid of the fucking cold sweat,ive been sick for quiet sometime now,
yeayea im always sick,
till youre sick of taking care of me,
im sorry for giving you a hard tyme,

ily , ily , ily,,

i have to see you soon,
im missing you, n im sick coz i didnt see you too,
its just hurts to see you being lonely and me being fucked up,
im sorry i couldnt see you when ure sick,please oh please takaiires of youreself,
im a fucked up bitch girlfriend,
i wish you have a happy life ahead when im gone,
even if it hurts to see that ure not wimme ,
takaiires dearest baby thahir,
thanks for caring, and taking care of me,

i just couldnt let you see me cry and getting sick.
i try my best not to worry you but in the end i did,
well baby, i got not much to say ,
but just so you know i love you forever just the way you are baby,

words couldnt express it more than how i feel towards you,
im sorry i lied that i hate you,
see you when i see you,,

toodles,
love fy,

Fasting month

2010-09-09T01:10:00.000-07:00

i miss my baby so badly,,
i shouldn't have acted so shitty,
i wonder how is he, fuck tha ego beb,
i terribly miss hym so much,
urghh,,!!!
paranoid!!
and baby look so cute in below picture,

how i wish i could hug hym and kiss hym.
i miss sleeping with hym,
cuddle all night long, haish,
yeaa,, he's changed, to .. i dunno..
i wonder if he still keeps his promise not to leave me, haish,
omg!!! i miss karim even more hahaha,,
dont say wafeeq, awwwww.. that cutie pie,,
baby, i know you hate it when i say break up, but fyi i wanna be w you forever,,
hehe~ lucky you cant read this coz i'll be blushing ,, coz i dunno where to hide it hehe,,
every single little things i like to take it to the heart but
at times you are little to over board,
you little rascal dummy!!
i miss youre pao boobs!! LOL!!

omg!! ahahaha, geram nyer, i didnt realize i hurt you that much baby,
im really sorry from the bottom of my heart, i just wan friends and be like you,
can you just understand please,

urgghh!! im sorry i just could be with you,,as in me beside you now,
i just couldnt ,i just dunno who am i anymore,
not ure fault baby, myne.
i told you i got alot of bad dreams lately,its nerve wrecking baby.
i wish you know,its just so hard for me,
no matter wherever you n i are,wherever we go, i always keep you in my mind,
i hope you realize,i know im so bad, haishh..

anyway puase for me is still the same, yes meet new friends,
my friends that i havent seen for such a long tyme,everyone,
im glad that my new friends are good, cause most of the tyme we have supper and all
religious stuff will always come up,
and i love listening to it, makes me feel good as a muslim.

baby and dad always thinks bad of me,
sometimes i wish!!!!!!!!!! they know that im trying to be a good muslim,
everyday i learn something about it,

and i just couldnt lie,,
but to just keep in silence,
i wonder why they are treating me this way,
i think i know where you are leading me god,
but im so not prepared,
i guess im wrong, huh..
to think that im always right pfft,
yeaa,, i know im fucked up now,, whatever the result might be,
i'll just have to accept it huh...

well i gtg now be back soon..
baby, im sorry n wished you knew,, love you,

Soo Fasst,

2010-09-05T22:56:00.000-07:00

my baby caramel is empty again,
im sorry to leave you,,
anyway, i feel so bad,
for making baby being so lonely,,
whenever i leave hym i cant bear the feeling,
i just wanna stick w hym all the way,
i had to leave coz dad noes im still with hym.

i dun care actually but its just making me all stressed up,
most of the tyme when im w baby,
my heart is light.
no problems, nothing to worry,
i dunno, im sure he felt that way too before,
everything change so fast and drastically.
im not ready for anything,
i just want friends,
no intention of anything,

why cant anybody see that,im just being me,
is that the biggest mistake i ever done,
i dunno,please see me the other way coz
i think people misunderstood me,
haish, being friendly say to friendly,
when i just being quiet people intend to say im stucked up bitch,
what do you want me to do!!!

i dont understand you people,
im really sorry baby for leaving you now,
i know im sucha pain,
i rather see you happy than in pain,
if there's anyone you like to be with ,
i understand, i dont mind, just tell me cause you need it better,
whatever in the past i'll try to forgive and forget,,
how i wish he read this, BABY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!
no matter what you and i do i still love you,
i cherished every moment with you,
whether good or bad,ups and down,
i love you just the way you are,
i wont n nvr will ask you to change,
coz you capture my heart the way it is,
haishh,, omg, i cant believe this, so sad he cant read this,
i never ever told anyone of my xboyfriends like this,

whenever i see you my heart skips and jumps,
whenever i get your msgs my heart thumping so hard,too excited to read ure msgs,
my heart feel the same way when we know each other ,
i lied coz im embarrassed, not in a bad way but good way,

even thou i expect you do stuff as a responsibility of a boyfriend,
i cant, coz it seems you have too much to bear with,,
haha, i love to scold you cause youre just so naughty and so stubborn way than me of course,

well till next tyme than,
im so busy with stuff now,,
hearts you baby,,

loves,
fyfiie
smoochies,,